terrified.

glochid-spear

i’m terrified. i have an MSE- or mental status exam for SSDI (disability) at 3pm tomorrow. All 4 of my sources tell me to be myself.

Whaaaaa? Which one of me is that?  because the Julie who’s typing right now isn’t the Julie who comes around these parts often…and I’m only around these parts because Ev said I ought.

So which one is it then?

The sleeping all day so I don’t eat myself alive in my own brain, Julie?

the Julie who can stare at a bridge all day and remember nothing?

Julie- who yesterday lashed so harshly at her lover as to make them cry?

or  Julie who naps in the closet in shame?

I don’t suppose it matters much.  I won’t tell you the odds. But they’re not in my favor anyway.

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